Trapped

Trapped!

It was a life of sorts and more stable than those she had shared with two previous husbands.

The present day was lived in a 'box'. One bound by a routine that had been established for over eleven years. A life of sharing weekends with a partner whose main interest in life was sport, interspersed by food and work. He was short and very large and a very self opinionated man. Culturally, something of a desert and lacking in any knowledge, to speak of, of the finer things in life.

It was within this 'box', bound by his fairly narrow interests, that she lived and believed she had a 'life'.

Most of her life, both before this man and during, was behind her now. Of her two previous husbands, one was still alive,the other had passed on. Most of her time had been wrapped up in those men and their singular lack of success in life. Now she was with someone much more successful but still she felt trapped, in her heart of hearts. Trapped, in so far as she knew she would never experience much of what life had to offer, the freedom to go anywhere at anytime and to be herself rather than being boxed in by where she found herself.

The loss of her second husband, just after her divorce from him, had left her free to have a series of affairs. She was quite a sexual woman and had her needs, naturally. In among those she met was a man she spent nigh on two years seeing. He was quite different to the others she had met, in that he was highly educated, successful and kind. He had experienced a death in his family and his youngest child needed his support, so he wasn't able to spend as much time as he would like with her.

They were fairly well settled together, but she couldn't let past men in her life alone. So behind his back she carried on an affair or two, eventually culminating in her seeking and finding another. The man who has now trapped her in a mundane life. A case of while the cat's away....

Her impulsiveness and shallow character led her to where she is now. Trapped.

The 'contra' to being in the box, in the trap, was to have courage and commitment but she had neither. The man she found, or rather he found her, was very different from all the other men she had met. Feelings of inferiority clouded her judgement, feelings that made her feel a little inadequate, but he never thought so. He committed, she didn't because of all these things.

He moved on and she was left behind in the 'box'. He lived a life of luxury, travel and found a new family and went to live in another country. She is living in 'another country' in many ways. She could have had it all, but she made mistakes and paid for those mistakes by being left behind. She knew she had, but had burnt her bridges by destroying his trust in her.

His life was so very different.....